Hall of Infamy

Every roleplaying group has those moments where sanity leaves by the back door to get a pizza. We've had a few moments of clarity in our games, but at other times incidents like these happen...

CYBERPUNK:

The carnage on the Docks

A group of Arasaka COVERT (sic) operatives (Viper (assassin), Sovereign (solo), Iccarus (runner) and Sato (fixer)) are on the trail of a man who could be a rogue Arasaka agent long believed dead. After knocking a few heads together in Detroit they find themselves in the Chicago Port facility trying to get information from the Wharf Rats, a family of water nomads who operate out of the docks. The team attempt to win the Rats' trust by telling them that they were pointed in their direction by a bounty hunter called Pit Bull (which is kind of true but they did have to torture him first). The Rats tell them to wait in a nearby bat and they'll think it over, in fact the Rats phone Pit Ball and, getting no response at his home or on his mobile jump to the right conclusion.

Icarus decides that he's had enough of waiting and goes to look for the Rats with Viper in tow. They bump into a couple of Rats just outside the bar who invite them back to their haunt so they can talk. The two covert operatives step into the Rat's hang-out to find themselves surrounded by about 18, pistol-packing Wharf Rats who tell them to drop their guns. Half a dozen of the nomads then head off to "deal with the other two". By some cosmic coincidence the "other two" have just decided that it is time to leave the bar. Unfortunately the Rat's hang-out is only 100m the bar, they are spotted and a fire-fight ensues, right in the middle of the street in broad daylight. The sound of gun fire is the cue for the unarmed Viper to grab hold of the nearest Wharf Rat and begin to club his fellow nomads into submission with him while Icarus grabs a dropped gun and starts popping everyone in sight.

Back out in the street other Wharf Rats have been attracted to the sound of gunfire and Sovereign and Sato find themselves outnumbered 12-2! Less then 30 seconds later the covert operations team is up to their ankles in 24 dead or crippled nomads and the police are on their way. Grabbing the highest-ranking (live) Wharf Rat they can find the fearsome foursome head for the hills. Luckily (for them) their prisoner knew the required information.

SHADOWRUN:

Super Throw!

A group of Detroit based Runners are hired by a rogue CIA agent to steal some "sub-nuclear explosive devices" from an airport. Things haven't gone too well, after a shoot-out with the soldiers guarding the hanger where the bombs are kept 3 out of the 5 person team are not combat worthy but the Runners have secured the objective. Just as they are about to drive off with the half-dozen bombs on a electric baggage train they come under fire from another soldier standing in the back of a jeep armed with a MMG. The situation looks grim. There is no way that the Runners will be able to outrun the Jeep in their electric buggy and its too far away to get with their pistols and SMGs. The team's Street Samurai rises to the occasion by snatching a grenade (a weapon he has never used before let alone has any skill in) from a nearby (dead) soldier and throws it over 50m to land in the back of the MOVING jeep right at the gunner's feet!

How to take out two SWAT teams

"Get me everybody"
"What do you mean "everybody"?"
"I mean EVERYBODY!!"
(Leon)

A group of New York based Shadowrunners (Ash (former company man), Crow (bodyguard), Red (rigger), Velvet (fixer) and Whisper (mage)) are laying low in a cheap hotel after being involved in an explosion in down town NY and a cop-killing. Velvet decides to "hit the streets" (to see if she can get any info on the toxic shaman who set them up) and opens the hotel room door to find herself face-to-face with a SWAT team who were just about to knock it down. Chaos reigns! SWATS are shooting in through the door, snipers are shooting in through the windows, and there is blood and tear gas everywhere! Most of the team decides to make for the stairs and safety by blasting holes in the intervening hotel room walls. Ash however chooses a different approach and wanders out into the hallway to blast away at the SWAT team at point blank range. As Crow begins to whittle down the opposition some of the other Runners change tactics and join him.
The remaining Runners reach the staircase and see another couple of SWAT teams coming up to back up their guys. Crow learns of this, calmly walks over and tosses a pair of grenades down the stairs, taking the reinforcements out. The Runners them turn their minds to escape and head along the hallway to a side window. Peaking out they spot not only an unattended police Thunderbird but another SWAT sniper team heading up the fire escape of an adjacent building. Whisper quickly takes them out with a fireball, catching an elderly couple and their dog in the process (clearly the 21st century NYPD haven't heard of crowd control). The runners leap from the window and climb into the safety of the Thunderbird…except Crow. Crow has been busy routing out SWATs hiding in terror of their lives in nearby hotel rooms. Spotting that his companions have left and that yet more SWAT reinforcements have arrived on the hallway, he makes for the window. To cover his back he drapes a dead SWAT trooper over his shoulders and, as he dives out of the window, lobs a couple of more grenades back in after him. Crow, still carrying his prize, rolls gracefully into the Thunderbird and the Runners tear off, running down a few more cops on the way.

Time is a short fuse.

A New York based storage firm's computer system links to the private matrix of its parent mega-corporation at 03:00hrs for 6 seconds to download the day's accounts. A group of runners (Ash (former company man), Firefly (physical adept specialising in guns), Red (rigger), Stuff (merc), Velvet (fixer) and Whisper (mage)) decide to take advantage of the arrangement to hack into the mega-corp's system. A (very) rough layout of the firm's offices is obtained and, as it's not too big, the run is set for 02:57 hrs. The runners have reached the firm's front door on schedule, it's a security door but Stuff is trained in demolitions. Unfortunately he has forgotten to pre-set his charges and spends the next 150 seconds carefully placing and priming his charges. The door blows with 30 seconds before the link up. Ash runs in to find half of the firm's 12 security guards covering the room and gets himself shot, repeatedly. Firefly kicks into high gear and dives into the room, a SMG in both hands, and proceeds to cut down the security guards like a scythe through grass. Now the Runners have got a new problem. They know the computer room is in the basement, they don't know where the stairs are and they've only got 27 seconds left. The team runs around like lunatics until Stuff spots a "stairs this way" sign and down they go. The remaining 6 guards have set up an ambush at the bottom of the stairs but have failed to anticipate "Teflon Firefly" who casually guns them down.
The team reaches the computer with 6 seconds to spare. Worried? Us? Never! This story ends rather sadly for the two runners involved. Ash (former company man) and Firefly are being pursed by two squad cars and a police 'copter for murder and grand-theft of a mobile phone (see The Geoff Effect for the full story). Since they're in Ash's Ford Americar the chances of them out running their pursuit are very slim indeed. Firefly leaned back out of the car and peppered the police vehicles with SMG rounds with no real effect. Seconds latter he's taken down by 2 shots from a sniper in the chopper. The police then ram Ash's car off the road and call on him to "get out of the car". Ash has a brain wave and dumps his (unused) Predators in the dead Firefly's lap and stepped out of the car (we believe he was going to claim that Firefly held him at gunpoint and made him do it). It was at this point that a helpful player said something to the effect of "Haven't they still got Ash's leg, they're bound to do a DNA match" (a reference to a previous incident where Ash lost a leg when someone tried to blow up the runners near Central Park). "@#**!" says Ash and, in desperation whips out a pair of light security pistols (!) and opens fire at the cops. "Plink, plink, plink." go the bullets from the light pistol. "Boom, boom, boom" go the bullets from the cop's far heavier guns. End of Ash.

CALL OF CTHULU

The investigation had ground to a halt. The investigators (An author, a doctor, a journalist, a police detective and a professor) had all, somehow, overlooked the vital clue which revealed the location of the mad, undead occultist Marion Allen and they were now stuck. What they did know was that Allen was interested in a certain volume of forbidden lore which had been given over to their care and that he harboured dark desires for the journalist. So the author, doctor and professor laid in wait in a car parked outside the journalist's home (they wouldn't spend the night inside her house, she would never live it down) and kept the book about them (not trusting to leave it unattended). Meanwhile the detective went off for another car. Taking a roundabout route back the detective was lucky enough to spot the missing occultist and decided that the best course of action was to confront him. Things went badly for the officer of the law and Allen soon shot and bludgeoned him into unconsciousness and then dragged him off for his own evil purposes. Just as the author, doctor and professor were starting to wonder what was keeping their friend they spotted a gigantic, one winged serpent smart-bombing its way through the Arkham night straight towards them. The fiend crashed into the front of the car and started to try and force it open. The author snapped and ran screaming into the night gibbering like a maniac and throwing off his clothing as he went. The doctor and the professor quickly decided that the book was not worth dying over and, leaving it behind in the car, ran for their lives. As he jumped out of the car the professor was treated to the sight of the detective's cranium and the upper half of his face falling out of the serpent's mouth. After the creature had gone the author was rounded up and sedated and the journalist (who had amazingly slept through all the commotion) brought up to speed the remaining investigators reviewed the situation: the car destroyed, book and Allen nowhere to be found and one companion mad. As for the detective, the professor suggested that they'd better find the rest of him "just to make sure he was dead"(!)